Reflection (II).

After some considerations, I think I didn't really waste 1 year. In short, from May 2011 to Dec 2011, I've attended General Relativity (GR) and Advanced Quantum Mechanics (AQM) at NUS, worked part-time at Sushi Tei and NAC and had a trip to Japan. From Dec 2011 to end of April 2012, I've done some readings in Functional Analysis, Quantum Gravity, Lavier-Stokes equation and Quantum Computing. On the other hand, I've also done some research on the Traveling Salesman Problem (TSP) and wrote 3 papers about it.

Well, after I attended GR, I've learnt the relationship of space and time, Einstein's equations which govern the gravity and one of the solutions for Einstein's equation, namely Schwarzschild Solution, which eventually leads physicists to predict black hole, white hole and worm hole (cool!). As for AQM, I've learnt how physicists combined Quantum Mechanics with Einstein's Special Relativity (SR), the mathematical tools, the methods and most of all the motivations of doing so. As for the part-time jobs, I've learnt so much and it actually deserves another entry. However, in short, I've discovered that I'm actually very good in customer service (from Sushi Tei) but poor in interpersonal relationships (from NAC). I received quite a lot of customer feedback saying that I've provided them a very good service while they are dining in the restaurant and I can engage with them very well. I always like to "talk cock" (talking nonsense) while taking order or doing the bill but surprisingly it turns out that I'm actually engaging with them and enhance their dining experience. Strange, isn't it? My first compliment came just after 5 days of working there from a French woman (you know why and how I got it, don't you? lol!). Anyway, as for NAC, somehow I've just messed up my interpersonal relationship there (sorry to my ES2007s teacher, Ms. Happy Goh) and I really don't know why. Maybe I was just insensitive enough or I'm just poor in EQ in an office environment. Working in NAC was my first ever office work, after all. My previous working experiences were all came from restaurants and factories. Or maybe I've just inevitably showed them my "true color" while I was surrounded by a lot of female colleagues? WHAT THE HECK!? I should really reflect on this issue and improve my interpersonal relationship while working in an office, anyway.

I think I've wrote too much about Japan, so just skip my Japan trip and move on to the readings. Well, some of you may think that I've wasted too much time on reading those subjects that eventually won't help in my career or even my daily life. To some extent you are right but if you are not willing to "waste" some times on doing so, you never know what you really like and capable of doing. As a matter of fact, research is part of our living and you always can't get the successful formula right away. You have to try watching the movie before you said that it isn't your cup of tea. Just like the movie Titanic. Some people like it very much and watch it over and over again but some just walked away from the theater halfway through the show. Japanese movie is another good example. Unfortunately, it is a fact that research comes with a price to pay: in some cases, it would cost you some monies or some of your times in order to find out the result. By now, at least I'm convinced that functional analysis isn't really my cup of tea and I'm not really capable of doing Quantum Gravity and Navier-Stokes equation. No one else is more persuasive than you yourself! Also, after finished writing my first "research paper", I realized that I enjoy scientific research very much. In fact, I don't mind doing research without getting any pay! I just love the thinking processes and the feeling of joy of "Eureka!!"; these are the rewards simply beyond any words to describe! However, like I mentioned before, there is a catch in scientific research as well: you may ended up wasting all your time and effort in vain simply because you don't know your idea somehow just don't work or your research is simply catching 22. You'll get frustrations and start hesitating or even panic. You'll start to lose your faith and eventually give up. To be honest, I knew it very well, or just too well. To this extent, I really don't know what to do next. It's really up to you to decide and find out. Research isn't just facts discovery, it's also to discover yourself I guess. How brave and determined you are to continue the research that seems to be so hard and "risky". In some cases, after a lot of hard work, you submitted your research paper, but your peers didn't agree with you and rejected your work, what are you going to do next? Face the challenge again, start the research anew and rewrite the paper or just give up?

I wasn't very sure whether I've wasted one year of my time or not. Maybe it's just not that fruitful. But I guess I've learnt something about myself and it's also very important to know and understand myself. Hopefully all these experiences will come in handy one day.

Now, it's time to ponder another very important question that I've just realized in this entry: If you are good at doing something that, unfortunately, you don't really like doing it, are you going to do it or not? As in I think I'm pretty good in customer service through my experience of working in a restaurant, but I don't really like the job as my career, what should I do? Some people think that doing what you good at (not doing what you love) will eventually bring you fortune and satisfaction. Is it really true?