Reflection (II).

After some considerations, I think I didn't really waste 1 year. In short, from May 2011 to Dec 2011, I've attended General Relativity (GR) and Advanced Quantum Mechanics (AQM) at NUS, worked part-time at Sushi Tei and NAC and had a trip to Japan. From Dec 2011 to end of April 2012, I've done some readings in Functional Analysis, Quantum Gravity, Lavier-Stokes equation and Quantum Computing. On the other hand, I've also done some research on the Traveling Salesman Problem (TSP) and wrote 3 papers about it.

Well, after I attended GR, I've learnt the relationship of space and time, Einstein's equations which govern the gravity and one of the solutions for Einstein's equation, namely Schwarzschild Solution, which eventually leads physicists to predict black hole, white hole and worm hole (cool!). As for AQM, I've learnt how physicists combined Quantum Mechanics with Einstein's Special Relativity (SR), the mathematical tools, the methods and most of all the motivations of doing so. As for the part-time jobs, I've learnt so much and it actually deserves another entry. However, in short, I've discovered that I'm actually very good in customer service (from Sushi Tei) but poor in interpersonal relationships (from NAC). I received quite a lot of customer feedback saying that I've provided them a very good service while they are dining in the restaurant and I can engage with them very well. I always like to "talk cock" (talking nonsense) while taking order or doing the bill but surprisingly it turns out that I'm actually engaging with them and enhance their dining experience. Strange, isn't it? My first compliment came just after 5 days of working there from a French woman (you know why and how I got it, don't you? lol!). Anyway, as for NAC, somehow I've just messed up my interpersonal relationship there (sorry to my ES2007s teacher, Ms. Happy Goh) and I really don't know why. Maybe I was just insensitive enough or I'm just poor in EQ in an office environment. Working in NAC was my first ever office work, after all. My previous working experiences were all came from restaurants and factories. Or maybe I've just inevitably showed them my "true color" while I was surrounded by a lot of female colleagues? WHAT THE HECK!? I should really reflect on this issue and improve my interpersonal relationship while working in an office, anyway.

I think I've wrote too much about Japan, so just skip my Japan trip and move on to the readings. Well, some of you may think that I've wasted too much time on reading those subjects that eventually won't help in my career or even my daily life. To some extent you are right but if you are not willing to "waste" some times on doing so, you never know what you really like and capable of doing. As a matter of fact, research is part of our living and you always can't get the successful formula right away. You have to try watching the movie before you said that it isn't your cup of tea. Just like the movie Titanic. Some people like it very much and watch it over and over again but some just walked away from the theater halfway through the show. Japanese movie is another good example. Unfortunately, it is a fact that research comes with a price to pay: in some cases, it would cost you some monies or some of your times in order to find out the result. By now, at least I'm convinced that functional analysis isn't really my cup of tea and I'm not really capable of doing Quantum Gravity and Navier-Stokes equation. No one else is more persuasive than you yourself! Also, after finished writing my first "research paper", I realized that I enjoy scientific research very much. In fact, I don't mind doing research without getting any pay! I just love the thinking processes and the feeling of joy of "Eureka!!"; these are the rewards simply beyond any words to describe! However, like I mentioned before, there is a catch in scientific research as well: you may ended up wasting all your time and effort in vain simply because you don't know your idea somehow just don't work or your research is simply catching 22. You'll get frustrations and start hesitating or even panic. You'll start to lose your faith and eventually give up. To be honest, I knew it very well, or just too well. To this extent, I really don't know what to do next. It's really up to you to decide and find out. Research isn't just facts discovery, it's also to discover yourself I guess. How brave and determined you are to continue the research that seems to be so hard and "risky". In some cases, after a lot of hard work, you submitted your research paper, but your peers didn't agree with you and rejected your work, what are you going to do next? Face the challenge again, start the research anew and rewrite the paper or just give up?

I wasn't very sure whether I've wasted one year of my time or not. Maybe it's just not that fruitful. But I guess I've learnt something about myself and it's also very important to know and understand myself. Hopefully all these experiences will come in handy one day.

Now, it's time to ponder another very important question that I've just realized in this entry: If you are good at doing something that, unfortunately, you don't really like doing it, are you going to do it or not? As in I think I'm pretty good in customer service through my experience of working in a restaurant, but I don't really like the job as my career, what should I do? Some people think that doing what you good at (not doing what you love) will eventually bring you fortune and satisfaction. Is it really true?

Reflection.

May is around the corner. 2 important things in my life happened in May. My ever first full-time job in HP, from 2005 to 2008, was started on 9th May 2005. My very last undergrad exam paper (Introduction to Programming) was on 2nd May 2011. My first full-time job meant a lot to me because it was when I started to work and save money to prepare myself for degree study. It was also the happiest period of my life so far because, basically, I have nothing to worry about within those 3 years and all I had were just fun, fun and fun! I've met a lot people there and I was so glad and it was so fun to work with them. We troubleshoot problems together, helped each (they helped me most of the times to be precise), having tea breaks, lunch, dinner and supper together and most importantly, we had so much fun in our "talking-cock sessions". We also went overseas together for vacations (Thailand, Sabab and Genting). Oh my goodness, it was so fun and I had no idea what stress means within those 3 years. In addition, I went to Japan twice within those 3 years.

On the other hand, 2nd May 2011 also meant a lot to me because I was "officially" a "Bachelor" and I have "conquered" most of the difficulties and obstacles in education. It was a very very long and hard journey to go this far just to be a Bachelor. It took me almost 18 years to be a Bachelor. Oh my goodness, 18 years!!! How many 18 years can one get in his/her life?

Well, since May means so much to me, I would like to have May as the "month of reflection" to reflect on what have I done for the past one year.

I graduated in May 2011. Now is the end of April 2012. What have I done from May 2011 to May 2012? To be honest, I really don't know, as in, yeah I've done something like working part-time in Sushi Tei and NAC, had a trip to Japan, had wrote 3 so-called "research papers" (if you allowed me to think so) and had a "totally-failed-but-funny-and-memorable-relationship" with someone, what is the significance of all these? Let me put it this way: You worked part-time in Sushi Tei and NAC, so...? You had a trip to Japan, so...? You wrote 3 so-called "research papers", so...? What/where is the big deal!? There's no big deal in all these at all! Basically, I have wasted one year of my life I guess! If all my papers get to publish one day, well, May 2011 to May 2012 would be a very fruitful year for me, but unfortunately, getting one of these papers to publish seems almost impossible. In addition, I'm still jobless by the time I'm writing this (my trip to Japan ended in December, so "officially" I'm jobless for 6 months). I have tried to apply for a lot of jobs in different fields but it seems that I'm only qualified of selling insurance, as in ONLY insurance companies are interested in me. I had an (and only) interview with NEA for an Executive job, but unfortunately, they have found someone better than me. How sad and cruel...

On the other hand, I also need to reflect on, other than foolish and idiotic in some sense in some cases as some of you might think and to some extend I really agreed with you, how brave and determined (if there is any) I was in order to be not-so-cruel and fair to myself.

Maybe I'm just too pessimistic about myself but I really should start taking my life very seriously and maybe start from another point. I really can't purely react based on my "instinct" and faith anymore. Maybe dream job only exists in Utopia. But again, I might end up living my life miserably... I really don't know... (*superposition*, huh? you said? I'm so glad that you've read my previous post and thanks!)

I hope you not only have resolutions every year but also a reflection. All the best to your resolutions and wishing you that you'll have a smiling face on your reflection eventually.

Donations.

I received a call from NUH (National University Hospital) Blood Bank today afternoon asking me whether I am free to donate platelet this afternoon as in they have a patient needs AB+ platelet urgently (normally platelet is for cancer patient). I told them I'd had a fever on 20-something March and I'd took some Panadols. If you have donated blood or something similar before, you'll probably knew that you have to fill in a form to declare yourself that you are free from any diseases. One of the requirements is that the donator must has not taken any medicines (including Panadol) within 3 weeks. I knew it very well, thus I didn't donate on 1 April. Take note that platelet donator can donate every month but, as for blood donator, it has to be minimum 3 months. Today is 16 April and I'm not very sure about the actual date that I'd got fever, so I told the nurse I need sometimes to recall and check the actual date. If I'd had Panodols on 26 March or later, I can't donate today because it is less than 3 weeks time of the "window period" and the nurse would have to look for other regular donators.

With fingers crossed, thanks goodness, I seldom get sick, thus I've recorded the date that I'd got sick in my macbook's Stickies. I suspected that the recent fever that I'd got was spread to me by my nephew Sean because this fever came right after he'd got HFMD (hand foot and mouth disease). HFMD to an adult like me? How ironic! Fortunately, my fever was happened on 24 March and I'd had Panodols on 24 and 25 March for two days only. So, I'm "fit" to donate (initially I was planning to donate on 1 May to avoid any doubts and extra inquiries). When I called back to the blood bank to tell them the "news" that I'm fit to donate, the nurse that called me answer my call, the nurse was so happy and kept thanking me for doing her as well as the patient a big favor.

Well, if I were to have Panodals on 26 March or later, what would happen to the patient? Can the nurse find another regular donator? I don't know but according to the nurse, through conversing to the nurse while I'm having the donation, she said it's not easy to find a last-minute donator, especially on Monday. I felt really glad that I was able to help and I sincerely hope that the patient will get well soon.

So folks, please, be a regular donator, leave your phone number to the blood bank and stop assuming that the regular one will always be available to donate. Everybody counts, indeed. If you are foreigner and you think that you are not "obligated" to help, please think from the perspective of the world's populations because the one that you helped might willing to donate monies or other things to help other peoples in other country. Good deeds will circulate around the globe.

As the matter of fact, you don't have to wait for the "mobile-blood-bank" which comes to school or somewhere near your house's CC every 3 months to donate blood. Instead you may wish to consider to donate in NUH or HSA or other hospitals any time you want to donate!

Happy donating!

Superposition

It was taken in the Universal Studios Japan Jurassic Park The Ride 26-12-2007 (around 3pm perhaps?). Look at my “shitty” face and you will know how scared I was that time. You think you know the real meanings of “scare the shit outta me”? No one knows better than me!! LOL! I was so scared that I almost “shit it out”, I screamed until my voice cords almost break and I might puke my lungs and heart up if the ride were 1 meter higher! Well, honestly, it was fun though! Sometimes I wonder, why is it has to be scared in order to have fun? Why is it has to be exhausted than, when you come to bed and the moment you lie down, you can feel the “pleasure”? Why is it has to be very thirsty than you will find even pure water is sweet? How ironic!! Maybe ying-yang is one of the laws of nature? Perhaps quantum rules applied? In the regime of quantum physics, everything is in the “superposition”, meaning it can be located in your left hand, right hand or “left AND right hands” at the same time, if you could ever grab an electron with both of your hands! Another analogies, water in a lake. The water in the lake can help the passengers to cross the lake rather easier than walk cross the lake, if you’ve got a boat of course. Without the water, the passengers have to walk. With the water, they need only one guy to swing the paddles and the rest of the passengers can just sit back and enjoy the scenery. So where are the quantum rules, where is the “superposition”, you asked? The “superposition” is “convenience AND the danger of drowning”! The water can give the passengers convenience, danger and “convenience AND danger”. If you take it in a broader sense, everything applied to the quantum rules, regardless of government’s policy, the problem of overpopulation in the world, etc. In addition, mathematics is also correct, wrong and “correct AND wrong”. You really think 1+1=2 is really correct? Think again! As the matter of fact, mathematicians still unable to answer this most fundamental and basic question: What is number? Together with “what is time?”, “what is number?” is one of the most profound questions in Philosophy of Science. These questions are believed that can’t be solve in Science alone thus they need philosophy to get into the circle. If you cant answer me what is number, how can you be so sure that 1+1=2. I believe that even mathematics cannot escape from the nature of “superposition”: mathematics is “correct AND wrong”. In short, everything is “good AND bad”, “correct AND wrong”, etc. Notice that it’s “good AND bad”, not “good OR bad”. There is a difference between “AND” and “OR”. For instance, the problem of overpopulation: it benefits the economy (sell more and make more money) AND harms our Gaia. If it would be an “OR” case, it is either benefits the economy OR harms our Gaia. Got it? I hope you are convinced. So, now I think we can understand why is it so that you have to be scared in order to have fun (superposition of scare AND fun) a wee bit better. If you have a hardworking kid who likes to learn and study, you should start to worry because, in superposition, your kid is “good AND bad”. Good in academic AND bad in health. Well, I think you’ve got the idea and I should stop the reiteration.

Well, back to the photo of the ride. As a matter of fact, it never failed to make me smile every time I look at it. I always find it very funny (I’ve got the biggest mouth if you’ve noticed!) and I really like it very much. So, where is the “superposition” of the photo, you asked? This photo was around S$32 (¥1950)…