Diving

Before the holiday of AY09/10 Sem 2, I signed up a diving course: PADI Open Water which allow me to dive (with a buddy) with the maximum depth of 18m without any supervision. It took me to go through 1 theory session with test, 2 pool session and 4 final evaluation dives at Pulau Aur. It all went well for the theory session, the pool sessions as well as the first 3 evaluation dives but, unfortunately (sighhhhhhh...) due to the buoyancy issue when I fin as well as my breathing problem (mainly due to my nervousness of the weakness, I guess) which lead me to left only 5 bar of the air pressure in the cylinder (the average was 60 bar and above), my instructor has to fail me for Open Water and I only certified for PADI SCUBA Diver which only allow me to dive with maximum depth of 12m with the supervision of a Dive Master. As the matter of fact, I think there were 12 student signing up for the course and I am the only one who failed for Open Water (sighhhhhhh...).

Frankly, not so long ago, I had failed my Class 2 motorbike test TWICE and I decided to give up by "lying" to myself: I failed it twice because my "destiny" wanted to prevent me from having deadly accident with a Class 2 bike. Can I lie to myself again with a similar excuse again: I failed it because it will prevent me from drown or attack by jelly fish or even shark?

Sometimes I wonder: why do I have so many failure throughout my life? I failed my Malay in my UPSR (PSLE in Singapore) and it leads me to take 6 years for my secondary education. I failed my Malay again for my O-level and it leads me to take up the diploma study in Nanyang Polytechnics (I wanted to study Malaysia A-level (STPM) at the first place as this is the cheapest way of approaching higher education). I failed more than 15 times, so far, for wooing a girl. I failed all the quizzes (except one and details are written at my another entry named "Naruto") and mid term test for my physics modules as well (eventually I still able to pass all these physics modules. If God or Buddha really exists, thank God or Buddha!)

The only reason that keep me from being sorrow (but still quite sad) from all this failures are: at least I did not failed any of my physics modules. This is my "bottom line" and the only "strength" that I left in order to push me through all this "minor" failure. Again, if God or Buddha really exists, I beg and beg and beg you all please don't let me loose my only "strength" or knock me down lower than my "bottom line". Maybe people like me really need a "strength" to live on and to "beat" another "minor" failure. Am I being too weak? If I were strong enough, I shouldn't need this "strength" and I would always say: "Just bring it on! No big deal." I really don't know. What I knew is that I don't want to have any failure anymore because the feeling is really hard and quite "unbearable" and I really don't know how much more failure I can "accept" but, in reality, can I really "achieve" no more failure from now onwards?

Please, please, please, if God or Buddha really exists, please bless this little and weak fellow--Liew Sing.