攝.秋.諷

黃昏楓葉特別紅，夕陽深秋愁加愁。
才華名利低一等，窮困暮年悲白頭。

笑话

笑话有两种：好笑和不好笑（很冷，无聊那种）。同一个笑话，有些人觉得好笑但有些人觉得无聊。 我觉得好笑，别人却觉得很冷。别人觉得好笑，我却觉得无聊。

人生也有两种： 精彩和不精彩。 同一个人生，有些人觉得无聊但有些人觉得精彩。别人觉得很精彩，很向往，我却觉得很无趣和乏味。别人觉得无趣，我却觉得这才是人生。

人生和笑话何尝也不是一样吗？我心里难过，别人却当笑话。我心里高兴，别人却觉得平平无奇，无聊。我们的人生有时候就是别人的笑话，别人的人生很多时候也是我们的笑点。

人生本来就是一个笑话。你笑我，我笑你，一笑置之。

不会“笑”的，哪里可能会“潇”洒？

Snake

13/02/13 Chinese Lunar New Year's Fourth day (Year of Snake).

It was a test of courage, planning and teamwork I supposed.

I was sleeping when my second eldest sister woke me up and told me that she saw a snake moving towards to the living room. She woke up her husband as well as our auntie Kim. The snake was hiding in a gap between a cupboard and the wall. After spotting the snake, my brother-in-law had got a long plier, a long ruler and a broom. I'd got a magazine. The magazine was used to block the exit of the gap so that the snake has to come out by the entrance and thus allows my brother-in-law to catch it by using the plier. So, auntie Kim was assigned to block the exit of the gap, I was assigned to hold the broom (to press down the snake whenever I can) and my brother-in-law was responsible to hoe out the snake and catch it with the long plier. However, the snake was able to escape from the exit because the magazine can't cover the exit fully. The snake wasn't very big though. It was approximately 1 ft long and 1/2" in width. Luckily the snake was heading out from the cupboard and I was able to press down the snake by using the broom. Eventually, we were able to remove the snake from the house without harming it.

It was fun but indeed very frightening, especially when the snake was able to escape from the exit. It was something that we didn't expect. Like I said before, it was a test of courage, planning and teamwork. But sometimes, it just won't go according to the plan. When it didn't go according to the plan, you can only react (keep calm!) with you instincts because it was happening too fast and you had no time to think and plan ahead. I was so glad that none of us were bitten by the snake and we were braver against snake.

Lastly, Gong Xi Fa Chai.    

Sickness

NUH Blood Bank called my on Friday to ask me if I’m able to donate plasma and platelet on Monday because they have a patient who is going to have a liver transplantation on 31/01/13 and the patient needs AB+ platelet for the operation. So, I had the donation done today and everything was smooth and ok. However, at around 4.30pm, suddenly I have had a ‘vision distortion” and I can hardly read the text from the iMac. I gave my eyes a rest, looking at far objects and it took me approximately 30 minutes to “restore” my eyesight. Right after having back my eyesight, I have had a very painful headache on my left brain. I started to breath faster and deeper, and suddenly I felt very cold. I mildly felt like to throw up and my knees were weak. I was having a headache and fever at the same time I guess. Hence, I decided to take a walk in the hope that it would help and erase the headache. The walk does help to reduce the headache though I guess but it wasn’t an immediate one. The pain was still the same after the walk (in fact, every symptoms remain the same) and I wasn’t so sure should I ride my bike home or not. Anyway, I decided to ride my bike home and I told myself that I have to be 100% focus on the road and temporarily forget about the pain. Surprisingly, not so far form Bedok while on the way home, the pain started to reduce and I started to feel warm a bit. Fortunately, all the symptoms were gone after a hot shower.

 I was so worried about myself when the headache persisted for more than 2 hours. It was the first time that I have had a side-effect after a donation. I had never experienced any sickness which consisted of headache and fever before today. I was worried that something might go wrong during the donation and caused any contaminations in my blood. The consequences might be unimaginable. Now, I’m relief. I have no idea what the root-cause was but, after the hot shower, I highly doubted that it was the donation that causing the problem. Perhaps it was merely a random out-of-the-blue sickness that just happened for the sake of itself.

 Lastly, the moon tonight is big and indeed, very bright.

QA Engineer

When I’m meeting the HR manager for my medical check-up appointment letter today, she told me that there were a lot of people applied for the job (I hope it’s true) and all of them were asked to use AutoCAD during the interview to demonstrate their proficiency of the software. She also told me that I’m the only one that did not asked to do so. In fact, I was asked to do so but I told the interviewer that I might need some times to recall. The interviewer paused for awhile and then said “ok, never mind, maybe it’s time for you to go back home and practice AutoCAD again; AutoCAD is very important here.” Then, the interviewer goes on with another question. “Maybe,” the HR manager continues with a smile, “he (the interviewer) got chemistry on you.” As a matter of fact, the first question that I asked the HR manager when we just met for the medical letter was how many QA engineer working here. She told me that I will be the only QA engineer (!). “So,” I said, “I have to do all the measurements and testing?” “Oh, no. There is another QC engineer to do all these. You just have to focus on… what you guys called it…?” “AutoCAD.” I said. Then she starts telling me the “story” I mentioned at the beginning.

Did chemistry really work on me and the interviewer? I don’t think so. I was selected simply because I’m “familiar” with 6 Sigma and it was my triumph card. Throughout the interview, I talked about 6 Sigma (which is extremely useful in quality management) most of the time. Ironically, I didn’t learn 6 Sigma from schools or from my past working experiences. I start picking up 6 Sigma after seeing it appears everywhere (especially GE and Rolls-Royce) in the “Requirements” of the job that I wanted to apply. I remember, few years back, I’ve read an article and it asks all the reader start picking up the skill themselves or through course whichever that is require in the job but yet to be taught in school and add it in the resume to show the potential boss that you are really keen and interested in the job. I thought it makes sense, thus I decided to take the advice and start picking up 6 Sigma myself. Fortunately, it really works, and thanks to the author who wrote the article.

So, if it is really the job that you like or a company that you wish to work for, but unfortunately it requires something that you’ve never learn before, say a mechanical engineering student suddenly wish to work in Oracle or Intel which required XML, SQL or even ERP SAP, freak not; just start picking up a book that teaches the subject, learn it yourself and show it in your resume. I believe your potential boss will appreciate it and take you into consideration for the job. If it doesn’t work out, never mind, it shows that s/he may not be a boss that appreciate human resource as an asset to the company but what s/he wants is just a working horse!

Once again, good luck for your future endeavor!

Anyway, my new company is a listed European MNC with approximately €62 per share at the moment I written this. I hope it is a good company, I’ve made a good choice and all the best to myself as well. :))))

Reflection (II).

After some considerations, I think I didn't really waste 1 year. In short, from May 2011 to Dec 2011, I've attended General Relativity (GR) and Advanced Quantum Mechanics (AQM) at NUS, worked part-time at Sushi Tei and NAC and had a trip to Japan. From Dec 2011 to end of April 2012, I've done some readings in Functional Analysis, Quantum Gravity, Lavier-Stokes equation and Quantum Computing. On the other hand, I've also done some research on the Traveling Salesman Problem (TSP) and wrote 3 papers about it.

Well, after I attended GR, I've learnt the relationship of space and time, Einstein's equations which govern the gravity and one of the solutions for Einstein's equation, namely Schwarzschild Solution, which eventually leads physicists to predict black hole, white hole and worm hole (cool!). As for AQM, I've learnt how physicists combined Quantum Mechanics with Einstein's Special Relativity (SR), the mathematical tools, the methods and most of all the motivations of doing so. As for the part-time jobs, I've learnt so much and it actually deserves another entry. However, in short, I've discovered that I'm actually very good in customer service (from Sushi Tei) but poor in interpersonal relationships (from NAC). I received quite a lot of customer feedback saying that I've provided them a very good service while they are dining in the restaurant and I can engage with them very well. I always like to "talk cock" (talking nonsense) while taking order or doing the bill but surprisingly it turns out that I'm actually engaging with them and enhance their dining experience. Strange, isn't it? My first compliment came just after 5 days of working there from a French woman (you know why and how I got it, don't you? lol!). Anyway, as for NAC, somehow I've just messed up my interpersonal relationship there (sorry to my ES2007s teacher, Ms. Happy Goh) and I really don't know why. Maybe I was just insensitive enough or I'm just poor in EQ in an office environment. Working in NAC was my first ever office work, after all. My previous working experiences were all came from restaurants and factories. Or maybe I've just inevitably showed them my "true color" while I was surrounded by a lot of female colleagues? WHAT THE HECK!? I should really reflect on this issue and improve my interpersonal relationship while working in an office, anyway.

I think I've wrote too much about Japan, so just skip my Japan trip and move on to the readings. Well, some of you may think that I've wasted too much time on reading those subjects that eventually won't help in my career or even my daily life. To some extent you are right but if you are not willing to "waste" some times on doing so, you never know what you really like and capable of doing. As a matter of fact, research is part of our living and you always can't get the successful formula right away. You have to try watching the movie before you said that it isn't your cup of tea. Just like the movie Titanic. Some people like it very much and watch it over and over again but some just walked away from the theater halfway through the show. Japanese movie is another good example. Unfortunately, it is a fact that research comes with a price to pay: in some cases, it would cost you some monies or some of your times in order to find out the result. By now, at least I'm convinced that functional analysis isn't really my cup of tea and I'm not really capable of doing Quantum Gravity and Navier-Stokes equation. No one else is more persuasive than you yourself! Also, after finished writing my first "research paper", I realized that I enjoy scientific research very much. In fact, I don't mind doing research without getting any pay! I just love the thinking processes and the feeling of joy of "Eureka!!"; these are the rewards simply beyond any words to describe! However, like I mentioned before, there is a catch in scientific research as well: you may ended up wasting all your time and effort in vain simply because you don't know your idea somehow just don't work or your research is simply catching 22. You'll get frustrations and start hesitating or even panic. You'll start to lose your faith and eventually give up. To be honest, I knew it very well, or just too well. To this extent, I really don't know what to do next. It's really up to you to decide and find out. Research isn't just facts discovery, it's also to discover yourself I guess. How brave and determined you are to continue the research that seems to be so hard and "risky". In some cases, after a lot of hard work, you submitted your research paper, but your peers didn't agree with you and rejected your work, what are you going to do next? Face the challenge again, start the research anew and rewrite the paper or just give up?

I wasn't very sure whether I've wasted one year of my time or not. Maybe it's just not that fruitful. But I guess I've learnt something about myself and it's also very important to know and understand myself. Hopefully all these experiences will come in handy one day.

Now, it's time to ponder another very important question that I've just realized in this entry: If you are good at doing something that, unfortunately, you don't really like doing it, are you going to do it or not? As in I think I'm pretty good in customer service through my experience of working in a restaurant, but I don't really like the job as my career, what should I do? Some people think that doing what you good at (not doing what you love) will eventually bring you fortune and satisfaction. Is it really true?

Reflection.

May is around the corner. 2 important things in my life happened in May. My ever first full-time job in HP, from 2005 to 2008, was started on 9th May 2005. My very last undergrad exam paper (Introduction to Programming) was on 2nd May 2011. My first full-time job meant a lot to me because it was when I started to work and save money to prepare myself for degree study. It was also the happiest period of my life so far because, basically, I have nothing to worry about within those 3 years and all I had were just fun, fun and fun! I've met a lot people there and I was so glad and it was so fun to work with them. We troubleshoot problems together, helped each (they helped me most of the times to be precise), having tea breaks, lunch, dinner and supper together and most importantly, we had so much fun in our "talking-cock sessions". We also went overseas together for vacations (Thailand, Sabab and Genting). Oh my goodness, it was so fun and I had no idea what stress means within those 3 years. In addition, I went to Japan twice within those 3 years.

On the other hand, 2nd May 2011 also meant a lot to me because I was "officially" a "Bachelor" and I have "conquered" most of the difficulties and obstacles in education. It was a very very long and hard journey to go this far just to be a Bachelor. It took me almost 18 years to be a Bachelor. Oh my goodness, 18 years!!! How many 18 years can one get in his/her life?

Well, since May means so much to me, I would like to have May as the "month of reflection" to reflect on what have I done for the past one year.

I graduated in May 2011. Now is the end of April 2012. What have I done from May 2011 to May 2012? To be honest, I really don't know, as in, yeah I've done something like working part-time in Sushi Tei and NAC, had a trip to Japan, had wrote 3 so-called "research papers" (if you allowed me to think so) and had a "totally-failed-but-funny-and-memorable-relationship" with someone, what is the significance of all these? Let me put it this way: You worked part-time in Sushi Tei and NAC, so...? You had a trip to Japan, so...? You wrote 3 so-called "research papers", so...? What/where is the big deal!? There's no big deal in all these at all! Basically, I have wasted one year of my life I guess! If all my papers get to publish one day, well, May 2011 to May 2012 would be a very fruitful year for me, but unfortunately, getting one of these papers to publish seems almost impossible. In addition, I'm still jobless by the time I'm writing this (my trip to Japan ended in December, so "officially" I'm jobless for 6 months). I have tried to apply for a lot of jobs in different fields but it seems that I'm only qualified of selling insurance, as in ONLY insurance companies are interested in me. I had an (and only) interview with NEA for an Executive job, but unfortunately, they have found someone better than me. How sad and cruel...

On the other hand, I also need to reflect on, other than foolish and idiotic in some sense in some cases as some of you might think and to some extend I really agreed with you, how brave and determined (if there is any) I was in order to be not-so-cruel and fair to myself.

Maybe I'm just too pessimistic about myself but I really should start taking my life very seriously and maybe start from another point. I really can't purely react based on my "instinct" and faith anymore. Maybe dream job only exists in Utopia. But again, I might end up living my life miserably... I really don't know... (*superposition*, huh? you said? I'm so glad that you've read my previous post and thanks!)

I hope you not only have resolutions every year but also a reflection. All the best to your resolutions and wishing you that you'll have a smiling face on your reflection eventually.

Donations.

I received a call from NUH (National University Hospital) Blood Bank today afternoon asking me whether I am free to donate platelet this afternoon as in they have a patient needs AB+ platelet urgently (normally platelet is for cancer patient). I told them I'd had a fever on 20-something March and I'd took some Panadols. If you have donated blood or something similar before, you'll probably knew that you have to fill in a form to declare yourself that you are free from any diseases. One of the requirements is that the donator must has not taken any medicines (including Panadol) within 3 weeks. I knew it very well, thus I didn't donate on 1 April. Take note that platelet donator can donate every month but, as for blood donator, it has to be minimum 3 months. Today is 16 April and I'm not very sure about the actual date that I'd got fever, so I told the nurse I need sometimes to recall and check the actual date. If I'd had Panodols on 26 March or later, I can't donate today because it is less than 3 weeks time of the "window period" and the nurse would have to look for other regular donators.

With fingers crossed, thanks goodness, I seldom get sick, thus I've recorded the date that I'd got sick in my macbook's Stickies. I suspected that the recent fever that I'd got was spread to me by my nephew Sean because this fever came right after he'd got HFMD (hand foot and mouth disease). HFMD to an adult like me? How ironic! Fortunately, my fever was happened on 24 March and I'd had Panodols on 24 and 25 March for two days only. So, I'm "fit" to donate (initially I was planning to donate on 1 May to avoid any doubts and extra inquiries). When I called back to the blood bank to tell them the "news" that I'm fit to donate, the nurse that called me answer my call, the nurse was so happy and kept thanking me for doing her as well as the patient a big favor.

Well, if I were to have Panodals on 26 March or later, what would happen to the patient? Can the nurse find another regular donator? I don't know but according to the nurse, through conversing to the nurse while I'm having the donation, she said it's not easy to find a last-minute donator, especially on Monday. I felt really glad that I was able to help and I sincerely hope that the patient will get well soon.

So folks, please, be a regular donator, leave your phone number to the blood bank and stop assuming that the regular one will always be available to donate. Everybody counts, indeed. If you are foreigner and you think that you are not "obligated" to help, please think from the perspective of the world's populations because the one that you helped might willing to donate monies or other things to help other peoples in other country. Good deeds will circulate around the globe.

As the matter of fact, you don't have to wait for the "mobile-blood-bank" which comes to school or somewhere near your house's CC every 3 months to donate blood. Instead you may wish to consider to donate in NUH or HSA or other hospitals any time you want to donate!

Happy donating!

Superposition

It was taken in the Universal Studios Japan Jurassic Park The Ride 26-12-2007 (around 3pm perhaps?). Look at my “shitty” face and you will know how scared I was that time. You think you know the real meanings of “scare the shit outta me”? No one knows better than me!! LOL! I was so scared that I almost “shit it out”, I screamed until my voice cords almost break and I might puke my lungs and heart up if the ride were 1 meter higher! Well, honestly, it was fun though! Sometimes I wonder, why is it has to be scared in order to have fun? Why is it has to be exhausted than, when you come to bed and the moment you lie down, you can feel the “pleasure”? Why is it has to be very thirsty than you will find even pure water is sweet? How ironic!! Maybe ying-yang is one of the laws of nature? Perhaps quantum rules applied? In the regime of quantum physics, everything is in the “superposition”, meaning it can be located in your left hand, right hand or “left AND right hands” at the same time, if you could ever grab an electron with both of your hands! Another analogies, water in a lake. The water in the lake can help the passengers to cross the lake rather easier than walk cross the lake, if you’ve got a boat of course. Without the water, the passengers have to walk. With the water, they need only one guy to swing the paddles and the rest of the passengers can just sit back and enjoy the scenery. So where are the quantum rules, where is the “superposition”, you asked? The “superposition” is “convenience AND the danger of drowning”! The water can give the passengers convenience, danger and “convenience AND danger”. If you take it in a broader sense, everything applied to the quantum rules, regardless of government’s policy, the problem of overpopulation in the world, etc. In addition, mathematics is also correct, wrong and “correct AND wrong”. You really think 1+1=2 is really correct? Think again! As the matter of fact, mathematicians still unable to answer this most fundamental and basic question: What is number? Together with “what is time?”, “what is number?” is one of the most profound questions in Philosophy of Science. These questions are believed that can’t be solve in Science alone thus they need philosophy to get into the circle. If you cant answer me what is number, how can you be so sure that 1+1=2. I believe that even mathematics cannot escape from the nature of “superposition”: mathematics is “correct AND wrong”. In short, everything is “good AND bad”, “correct AND wrong”, etc. Notice that it’s “good AND bad”, not “good OR bad”. There is a difference between “AND” and “OR”. For instance, the problem of overpopulation: it benefits the economy (sell more and make more money) AND harms our Gaia. If it would be an “OR” case, it is either benefits the economy OR harms our Gaia. Got it? I hope you are convinced. So, now I think we can understand why is it so that you have to be scared in order to have fun (superposition of scare AND fun) a wee bit better. If you have a hardworking kid who likes to learn and study, you should start to worry because, in superposition, your kid is “good AND bad”. Good in academic AND bad in health. Well, I think you’ve got the idea and I should stop the reiteration.

Well, back to the photo of the ride. As a matter of fact, it never failed to make me smile every time I look at it. I always find it very funny (I’ve got the biggest mouth if you’ve noticed!) and I really like it very much. So, where is the “superposition” of the photo, you asked? This photo was around S$32 (¥1950)…

Make-up

She is not very beautiful

Or very pleasant to look at

Nor she like to put on a make-up

But she always carries the cosmetics

In fact, she has to carry the cosmetics

Without knowing it

Ready to put on a make-up whenever she found something

Funny, hilarious or comic

It was a smile

A make-up that would fade away itself

Nor last

Just like a shooting star

A smile of a starless night

It made her really beautiful just now

...

You really cannot ask

"How to have a beautiful girlfriend?"

Nor

"Don't you think I deserve a prettier girlfriend?"

Instead you should ask

"How to make her always put on the make-up?"

My bike (part 2)

I've just got my bike fixed. It cost me S$73. S$30 for the tow services, S$18 for the front break pad and S$25 for the wiring repair. It was the wiring that causing the problem.

Indeed, I really don't know who to blame. As the matter of fact, my bike has already given me the symptom that something is not right with it and I can save the bloody S$30 for the tow services if I think probably and did not listen to the mechanic who thought that it was the battery that causing the problem. I knew that the IU is still working fine and I somehow still able to start the engine after a few kick-starts before I got the battery changed. In fact, I can save S$70 (replacing the battery plus the tow services) if I insisted the mechanic to check the wiring thoroughly, instead of changing the battery, during the previous services. If I'm smart enough, it is not hard to find out that the problem got nothing to with the battery. How could a faulty battery still able to supply electricity to the IU but the motorbike to start-up?

This is a very hard lesson for me. I've wasted a lot of time traveling from my house to NUS and more than S$70 which includes all the public transports fees (buses and MRT). This really shouldn't happen if I was calm and analyzed the problem carefully. I think I'm a person who can easily lose my head. How weak!

Anyway, I'm glad that this nightmare is finally over.

On the other hand, somehow, I feel that I love my bike even more. Wayne (one of my very close friend, who is a biker as well) suggested me to change my bike to Honda since my bike given me so much problems (big question mark for the future as well). However, my first reaction was a big "NO!" and my gut instinct told me that I'll regret if I change my bike. I think I've put too much "effort" and time into my bike, thus I'm not willing to change it. I think my bike is my "blood, sweat and tears". (Ridiculous, huh?)

Lastly, will you change your bike if you were me?

My bike

My beloved bike broke down today. It was the second major break down since he was under my possession since May 2005. The first major break down was just 10 months ago and I've sent my bike to the bike shop, where I bought my bike from, 3 times in order to get the problem solved. It was the magnetic coil which controlling the spark plug that faulty causing the problem and it costs me S$220 to get it fixed. It was a very dangerous (broke down at the middle of the road 3 times) and horrible experience.

Now, here's another issue today. I don't know the root-cause yet as I just found out that it is faulty while I was trying to start the engine at home. I can't start the engine. There is no light from the "N"(neutral) light bulb after I've turn the ignition key switch. I've just got my battery changed 3 days ago (due to same issue but somehow able to start the engine again after a few "kick-start") and my in-vehicle unit (IU) is still working fine. Thus, it is not the battery that causing the problem, I guess (d**n! I've wasted bloody S$40 to replace a still functioning battery!). Fortunately, it wasn't happened while I'm on the way to an important event like exam or job interview.

Well, I have to call for tow service again but unfortunately, today is Sunday and Hari Raya Haji. Meaning tomorrow Monday will be public holiday. I won't get my bike fixed until Tuesday.

Sometimes, I really hate my bike so much. I didn't hit the roof, however, but I just kept scolding vulgarities when I've found out the incident. My bike is going to burn another big hole of my pocket and causes me a lot of inconvenience soon. However, by looking back, it has accompanied me for more then 6 years. I really enjoying riding it and it "shared" a lot of my bitter and sweet moments (especially when I'm studying in NUS). When I'm studying in NUS, it never caused me any major issue and he just silently performed up to my expectation. I "talked" to him as well when I'm in rage or sorrow, despite the fact that I knew he would never answer me anything. I like to sing out lough while I'm riding, too. So he is not only my transport but my biggest fan and best listening ear as well.

He's really a good machine, no doubt about that, but the luck just wasn't at my side this time, I guess.

Anyway, would like to take this opportunity to thank you as well.

Love you, my bike.

Star

What does an outer space planet and a flower on earth share in common?

No, nothing? Think harder.

Well, yes indeed they are beautiful (don’t you agree?) and…?

To me, they are all stars.

A planet is a star in the sky. A flower is a star on the earth.

Both of them are colorful and beautiful.

However, they can never say “Hi” to each other.

When the stars in the sky appear, the stars on the earth will disappear.

When the stars on the earth appear, the stars in the sky will disappear.

…

Twinkle twinkle little star.

How sad I know what you are.

Plan.

This is a mascot of NUS graduate in gold robe, which represents Bachelor of Science (gold with white represents Engineering, etc).

Yes, indeed, I'm a Bachelor of Science, major in Physics now (since July 2011) and I can tell you that it was very hard and bitter for me to become a "bachelor".

When I was year two taking a module called Experimental Physics, Dr. Colla Massimiliano once said this to me: "Shame on you.", Prof. Tang Sing Hai said "I think you should go back and revise all your secondary school physics." and Asst. Prof. Ariando said "Seriously, are you *really* a physics major?". They said these to me while they, individually, examine my lab report and asked me questions (in NUS, we call it VIVA). I was stressed and panicked. I couldn't utter a word. I can only say "Er... I don't know.." I was so embarrassed for 3 different VIVAs! However, eventually, I'm still able to get through the module but with pretty bad grade (expected, right?).

I stared at the mascot yesterday and it brought me back all the bitter memories (low grades even though I've tried study very hard, studied until 2am to 3am, rain while riding bike to school and got wet, etc) throughout these 3 years of Physics education in NUS. This little soft toy really means a lot to me!

Now that I'm done with my bachelor and I think I should continue to do physics, as in do my own research without any supervisor. I wanted to do master in physics but unfortunately, due to my poor performance, I don't think NUS would like to have me as their master student. Well, by looking at the bright side, it actually opens up another window to me. I think it's pretty cool to do research (theoretical physics) without any supervisor! Many many thanks to Wu ZhenZhou for his motivation on me and his encouragement! As the matter of fact, in order to do theoretical physics, all you need are a pen, a paper, Mathematica or MatLab (mathematics is the boss of physics!) and the ability to reach all the research papers as your reference (as alumNUS, you can pay 5-year membership package of S$400 to obtain library membership so that you can reach all the research papers). Well, like what ZhenZhou said before:" it might be hard, but not impossible." Thanks again, Zhen Zhou!

Of course, research is only a "part-time job". Eventually I still need to look up a full time job to earn a living. I haven't decide what to do for my full time job yet at the moment and I'll think about it again while I'm travelling in Japan in mid November later.

Since I like to take photos and write "nonsense" which "provokes emotions", I'm also considering to write a book which consists of a lot of photos with my "poem", short story or simply my imagination with regard of the photo. Just like "Junction". I've already came out with the title of the book, namely "Photostories: Through my camera, through my mind". I hope you'll like it!

Well, here's my plan at the moment.

What's yours?

Junction

Going to Japan again soon. So here’s a piece of nonsense :))))))



18/11/2011 6:49 PM, Osaka

Autumn, no twilight, 16 degree C and drizzling.

A guy, holding up an umbrella, standing near a t-junction in the town.

He seems to be lost and he stands there for more than 10mins.

Maybe he is just wondering why heaven weeps.

He started to look around and, apparently, he doesn’t know what to do next.

He sees maple leafs floating on the wind: just like the plastic bag scene of American Beauty.

He tries to catch a maple leaf. He also picks up some on the street.

He stares at the leafs for a moment.

Finally, he decides to head back where he came from. Maybe he’s going back to his hotel or maybe he’s going to Shin Osaka at next turn.

“You’ve got to put the past behind you, keep your faith and move forward.” Maybe he has just not enough courage to continue the journey ahead.

He disappears, eventually and finally the rain stops.

The Strange Tales of Liaozhai and the movie of Stardust.

http://www.wellbeing.com.au/article/Features/Wisdom/What-is-Relationship-Astrology_681

I'm on school vacation now and I've read some of the books of The Strange Tales of Liaozhai and "coincidentally" watched the movie of Stardust by a local channel before the party of ZoukOut. The origin of The Strange Tales of Liaozhai consists of 409 short stories and a lot of the stories are about love of a couple. So, it is not hard to find the similarities between The Strange Tales and the movie of Stardust. Both are about the hardships that the couple has be through and thus earned their eternal love for each other and being together happily ever after.

Fairy tales of eternal love seem to be impossible to happen in my era of time. In fact most of the people would think it is not real and thus decided to forget it and "wake up" for the "reality". But I believe that everybody, including myself of course, wants it and so lots and lots of this kind of movies had been produced and attracted millions of crowd to watch it. Similarly, I also believe that one of the reasons that The Strange Tales can ever exist until now, either in literature or drama series, for more than 250 years is because of the same elements: most of the people would like to have eternal love.

So now arises a question that a lot of people would like to ask and trying to search for the answer: Can eternal love be gained without any hardships?

I think eternal love would not come for free. There is a price that the couple have to pay in order to gain it: they have to go through some hardships just like The Strange Tales as well as the movie of Stardust. Nothing is free. If it is free, it would have no value and the couple may break easily.

So, people who is living in a peace era like now in Singapore, London, Tokyo etc would means that eternal love will never exist? Frankly, I don't know but I suppose so.

----------

This year marks the fifth year of the break-up between me and my ex-girlfriend and I can still remember that the way we got together was far too easy and without any hardships and obstacles. Now, when I look back at the relationship (after reading The Strange Tale as well as watching the movie), I'm lost and confused. My experience of "easy-come-easy-go" (can I apply this idiom to relationship?) agrees with The Strange Tale and the movie and thus I think I can safely conclude that no eternal love without hardships. But in reality, how am I suppose to "mix" hardships into a relationships if I ever have a chance to "fall" again?

Maybe it is a curse that come with a peace society. Maybe I'm talking "false dilemma" or maybe I'm thinking too much again (damnit!). Whatever will be will be and I shouldn't worry too much.

Lastly, a small request: please don't laugh at me if I happened to be single for the rest of my life.

Finally..AY10/11 Sem 1 is over (II)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/digbyross/2505974224/

Now back to the sad part.

Sad, because I don't think I did well for PC2131 (E and M). All along, I heard people says Study Smart. Well, sometimes I wonder: What is study smart? How to study smart? Study smart means simply study for exam and test? Study those will only come out in the exam and test? I don't know and apparently it is the case.

I am used to "study all" and neglected "study smart" as I always think that the exam and test question is simply unpredictable and the lecturer can always change his style now and then. But, I've changed my strategy this semester simply because, judged by my current overall performance (CAP), "study all"--or rather Study Hard-- is not going to work for me. To me, the biggest difference between study smart and study hard is that study smart is only study for whatever that will come out in the exam or test and study hard would be study everything (is it a correct "definition"? Again, I don't know..). Now, let me ask you some questions. If you were decided to study smart, were you look back and study the mid term tests? Were you look back at the tutorial and study all the tutorial questions again? Or you would look at the "potential" questions which you think would come out in the final exam? Well, you can simply say "both" but don't forget that you don't have the luxury of time to do both as you have other exams to take care of. Maybe I am stupid or something, I've decided to give up on the revision of the mid term tests as well as the tutorial question. Guess what, in the final exam, 2 mid term test questions and a tutorial question (90% similar and exact) came out in the final exam. My face turned to red and blue on the spot and immediately I'd like to scream my lung out: "WHAT THE FU*******************K!!!!!"

Who would expect this? I know that the lecturer is being kind and would like to help the student but it turned out that his "favor" is killing me and I'm in hot soup now. I expected the opposite and studied those that have not come out in the mid term tests and tutorial.

Now, I'm really confuse with study smart and study hard. If I were to stick with study hard, my situation now won't be that bad as I would study the mid term tests and tutorial questions.

有早知,冇乞兒 (Cantonese slang: if "predictable" exists, beggar will not exist)...

Finally..AY10/11 Sem 1 is over

My QM I, II and III "guardians". (1927, Solvay Conference)

http://regnirts.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html

(Taking a very deep breath and sigh...)

Well, AY10/11 Sem 1 is over and I have just finished the final exam of PC2131 (E and M) 1 hour ago and PC4130 QMIII 5 hours ago. It was really fast and so does this semester.

While writhing this post, I am happy and sad. Happy, because I have finally completed the most important courses for this undergraduate study: Quantum Mechanics I, II and III. Seriously, I consider myself has graduated as physics graduate because, in my point of view, QM is the most important training that I must complete and QM is far more important than the rest of the module like E and M, Classical Mechanics, Mathematical method etc. I cannot imagine myself graduate without QM I, II and III. Why QM is so important to me? Well, honestly, it is a matter of pride as well as because it is very cool, interesting ( I still cannot accept Schrodinger's Cat and quantum entanglement) and yet to be fully understand by human being. Pride, you say? What pride? Well, just like the old good Chinese proverb says (translate by me): It is better to have a very sharp knife (only one) than having a lot of "normal" knife. As you may aware, I am pretty weak in physics (in fact very weak) and I really cannot give up my pride and just let people think that I am "nobody". Now, with these three QM modules under my belt, at least, I think, I am "somebody" because not much people can "stand" QM very long and very often people just switch their mind off when they heard someone talking about QM. On the other hand, seriously, I have think this over and over again: is this a correct attitude and mindset towards learning? I seriously don't know. Is it correct to think yourself as "somebody" and put your pride as high as your nose? My faith is shaking because this is really heavy and very often I have consider giving up and live my life an enjoyable one. No stress, just study whatever that is easy and able to graduate. You may confuse now and think that QM I, II and III are core module and compulsory to go through. As the matter of fact, only QM I and QM II are core and compulsory for normal degree undergraduate. QM III will only become core and compulsory for those are taking Honors degree. In my case, I am most probably graduate without Honors simply because of my poor and lousy CAP (a measure of overall performance) and it is up to me to choose to study QM III or not. So what the big deal since a lot of honors students are also "equip" with QM III? Well, the big deal is that I am the only non-honors student who dare to compete with the honors student in this "sounds difficult" subject! I must admit that it is really disputable and up to individual's point of view to think "I'm daring or not", but seriously it is really extremely rare to find a student like me who dare to do this and most of my senior who graduate without honors would have no QM III in their transcript.

Well, let's get back to the initial "discussion" now: Am I right to lift my pride as high as my nose but yet get myself very tired and sad very often? Tired and sad because physics is just not my field and my knowledge of physics is very fragile. I can easily forget what I have learnt over night and repeat all the mistake again and again during mid term test, final exam and even tutorial sessions.

On the other hand, it may be true to think that life is about a battle. In that sense, maybe I am right and I should continue this "battle" of challenging myself and hopefully it would lead me to somewhere better. If it eventually lead me to somewhere worse and stuck in a one way street (undergraduate degree is one of the most important factor that determine my career and it may have a huge ill-effect if i have selected it wrongly), well, I may as well just take it as another battle.

Maybe I just shouldn't take it too seriously and think too much about it because, better or worse, I will learn and grow and eventually nothing to lose. So what if people laugh at me and think that I am not realistic (keep doing something that you are not good at ) and deserve a failure? Well, I guess I have to just let them laugh but tell myself that at least I have tried my best to earn myself a pride.

Who knows? Maybe life without pride would be the worst failure after all...

(to be continued...)

Germany Immersion Trip 2010 (020510~220510)

Today is the Singapore National Day (happy birthday!) and also the last day of my school holiday for AY10/09 Sem 2(sob...).

By looking back, it was a very very fun and unforgettable school holiday. Night Safari, diving, studying Electromagnetism 1, Singapore Zoo and NUS Rag Day aside, the most memorable program that I had during the holiday was this wonderful Germany Immersion Trip (GIT).

If I were to talk about the programs and places that I have visited during GIT, it would take me at least one week to complete the job because it was a 20 days trip!

In fact, I just want to share with you what I have learnt and perceived during the trip.

As you may aware that I would be alone most of the time: I signed up the diving course alone; I prefer to watch movie alone; I went to Japan for backpacking alone; and, of course, I signed up this GIT alone, too. The idea of "to-be-alone-throughout-the-GIT-trip" has rooted in my mind long before I sign up for the trip and I am "well-prepared" for it: I had borrowed the "Munich and the Bavaria Alps" and downloaded all the traveling information from Wikitravel for Munich and Gottingen. All this information and travel guide are essential when you are traveling alone. I guess I am the only one in the group who brought all this information along and none of the members ever consider to be alone throughout the GIT. To me, the real freedom has to be alone. It is because by being alone than you can go wherever that interested you immediately and change the traveling plan anytime you want- no strings attached. By being alone, you can also do whatever you want without any "restriction" from your friends. Example, smoking. Your friend may ask you to "go away" when you wanted to smoke and complain that you smell awful when you get close to your friend. Therefore, I have perceived that "the real freedom has to be alone" due to the fact that human is no Buddha and there is always something that we cannot tolerate form each other no matter how close we are.

Nevertheless, after the trip, I realized that a total freedom can never guarantee all the happiness: it can never provide you the joy of sharing, especially the "photo sharing" after the trip. Sometimes, taking a photo with somebodies is really much better than just taking the photo alone or just the scenery alone. By looking back at the photos after awhile (the longer the better i guess; say, 10 years later) the mixing "feeling" that "erupt" in our heart is something really different as we compare with the "lonely-self" photos. A "lonely-self" photos may taste like Coke but a photo with somebodies may taste like coffee Latte.

I guess, in order to have the "total happiness" for a trip as well as after the trip, sometimes we really have to be alone and sometimes not to be alone. And of course, do not take this favor (from your friends) for granted and we should possess the correct attitude towards your friends.

Last but not least, thank you Lynette, Shi Hua, Yong Wai, Da Yang, Jun Kai, Alvin and the rest of the folks from GIT for your "enlightenment" as well as your patient, especially when I lose my temper when I wanted something fast, with me throughout the trip.

What a meaningful, memorable and precious once-in-my-lifetime GIT 2010.

流星。

photo source: touch4health

喜欢一个人看电影，因为可以省很多时间和麻烦。

因为很喜欢日本，所以喜欢一个人去日本，因为觉得这样才是二人世界。

很希望每年的秋天，可以 在火红枫叶下的京都，古老的寺廟前，一个人静静的坐着，听着风和叶的声音，看看眼前的情侣，陌生人祈福。

深吸一口气，想想未来的路，细细体会寂寞，失落，优愁的感觉。

也不知道为什么，就是很喜欢这种感觉。也许这样才是体会人生。

离开前，再回味过去人生的酸，甜，苦，辣，也希望可以掌握短暂的未来。

优伤的秋天，失落的红叶，千年的古寺，刹那的人 生。